Young and Foolish
Sometimes it pays to be young and foolish.
As a young man I thought I knew something about love. I met a girl in high school and, at the ripe old age of twenty, we thought we were ready for marriage.
It was 113 degrees on our wedding day. The guys wore brown velvet tuxedos and bow ties; the girls peach dresses. Miraculously, no one passed out.
The groomsmen decided to play a joke on me. They wrote "HELP" on the soles of my shoes so that when we kneeled for communion everyone would see. Fortunately, I sniffed the scam and spent my last few moments of single life feverishly scrubbing my shoes clean.
Seems like I've been cleaning crap from my soles ever since. Why, just the other day I had to say, "I'm sorry; that's not really the man I want to be." But that's another story for another time. Maybe I should have left the words "Help" on the soles of my shoes. God knows I need it.
As a pastor it is my privilege to help many couples get married. I often read the famous love text from Scripture (1 Corinthians 13) and suggest three thoughts to keep in mind as they begin their lives together.
I remind them, in the first place, that love involves giving. Selfless action is the key to a lasting relationship: "Love is patient, love is kind," the text says. Love is an action word more than a feeling word.
When many people say "I love you," they are actually saying, "I feel really good when I am with you," etc. Lasting love involves much more than that. It means saying, "I will do what is best for you no matter what it costs me." True love gives.
The text also suggests, secondly, that love involves forgiving: "it keeps no record of wrongs." The truth is, despite our best intentions, we don't keep our promises as well as we should. What then? Throw in the towel? Not if we understand true love.
Instead, on the offending side we swallow our pride and say: "Please forgive me." And on the offended side, we expunge our bitterness and respond: "I forgive you." Lasting love is not for the faint of heart. True love forgives.
Finally, the text says that true love stays: "love never fails." Some couples assume the marriage commitment is a ball and chain that limits their freedom. These couples don't understand true love. True love embraces commitment; it doesn't run from it.
The marriage commitment is not a ball and chain; it is, instead, a safety net. Like the net beneath trapeze artists, the marital vow gives couples freedom and courage to take the exhilarating and sometimes frightening risks of love. True love stays.
It was twenty-six years ago today (May 31) that I, a young and foolish twenty year-old promised my love to my high school sweetheart. I've never regretted it. I wish I could say I'm older and wiser. But I'm eternally grateful I was once young and foolish.
As a young man I thought I knew something about love. I met a girl in high school and, at the ripe old age of twenty, we thought we were ready for marriage.
It was 113 degrees on our wedding day. The guys wore brown velvet tuxedos and bow ties; the girls peach dresses. Miraculously, no one passed out.
The groomsmen decided to play a joke on me. They wrote "HELP" on the soles of my shoes so that when we kneeled for communion everyone would see. Fortunately, I sniffed the scam and spent my last few moments of single life feverishly scrubbing my shoes clean.
Seems like I've been cleaning crap from my soles ever since. Why, just the other day I had to say, "I'm sorry; that's not really the man I want to be." But that's another story for another time. Maybe I should have left the words "Help" on the soles of my shoes. God knows I need it.
As a pastor it is my privilege to help many couples get married. I often read the famous love text from Scripture (1 Corinthians 13) and suggest three thoughts to keep in mind as they begin their lives together.
I remind them, in the first place, that love involves giving. Selfless action is the key to a lasting relationship: "Love is patient, love is kind," the text says. Love is an action word more than a feeling word.
When many people say "I love you," they are actually saying, "I feel really good when I am with you," etc. Lasting love involves much more than that. It means saying, "I will do what is best for you no matter what it costs me." True love gives.
The text also suggests, secondly, that love involves forgiving: "it keeps no record of wrongs." The truth is, despite our best intentions, we don't keep our promises as well as we should. What then? Throw in the towel? Not if we understand true love.
Instead, on the offending side we swallow our pride and say: "Please forgive me." And on the offended side, we expunge our bitterness and respond: "I forgive you." Lasting love is not for the faint of heart. True love forgives.
Finally, the text says that true love stays: "love never fails." Some couples assume the marriage commitment is a ball and chain that limits their freedom. These couples don't understand true love. True love embraces commitment; it doesn't run from it.
The marriage commitment is not a ball and chain; it is, instead, a safety net. Like the net beneath trapeze artists, the marital vow gives couples freedom and courage to take the exhilarating and sometimes frightening risks of love. True love stays.
It was twenty-six years ago today (May 31) that I, a young and foolish twenty year-old promised my love to my high school sweetheart. I've never regretted it. I wish I could say I'm older and wiser. But I'm eternally grateful I was once young and foolish.